New beginnings...

I have decided that Spring has come early to California to give me the hope and message of new beginnings. I have finally come around to once again thinking that I really am blessed....even through the Hell that has been my life the past few months. Somehow, I still am luckier than most people. When I am lonely, people come into my life. When I am weak, help comes. When I ended up alone, my kids came along. Although this life is not ending up the way I intended, I am still one of the lucky ones. I don't question why I am one of the deserving ones...why I am blessed with this luck. I just am. Maybe it's just how the cards fall. Anyways, the possibilities are endless...my future is unknown but will be blessed. Another part of the luck that is in my life is that I am a person that can find happiness in any situation through the little wonders of life so no matter what the future lays at my feet, I know that I will find happiness in that. I am also working on the new beginnings that forgiveness brings. I have found the beauty in not holding onto your anger because you only hurt yourself. You can't hurt someone else back. They won't feel it. You can't make them see. You can only let it go and move on. One of my best friends said, "You can forgive, but you can also not forget." That's what I'm working from now. I can forgive but I will not forget. I will let myself be a healthy person and continue into the future from a happy place without dwelling on the past but I will not let myself be fooled again...