Friday, September 11, 2009

Good vs. Evil

Odin is entering this new phase called the magical/mythological phase of development where 3-7 year olds have a hard time distinguishing between fact and fiction, reality and imagination. It is also a phase where a child tries to understand how the world works, action and consequence, and the boundaries of his own will. With this new phase has come an obsession with being a superhero and the "bad" guys and the "good" guys. Everything is black & white and no one really dies, they are just "dead" and then alive again to fight another battle. He wants to wrestle all the time with every kind of person from women in their pretty dresses to random 20 something men he encounters. In Odin's world, you either "hate" someone because they are "yucky" or you love someone. There are no shades of grey, no moral dilemmas, and no consequences of deciding to "hate" someone. Everyone we meet is a "friend" and they are instantly part of our web of friends that crisscross this country. The past for him has become a distant memory that vaguely confuses him as it is so at odds with his current reality. I'm sure he can't even imagine that his prior existence ever occurred. I wish life mirrored this phase of development. Right and wrong are clear and concise, fairies and superheroes really exist, magic is possible, and the past is just a distant memory. I can only imagine the frustration at how little control he has over his life at that age though. I guess it explains why Odin tries to assert his will over every little decision. I have to say, I don't feel as though I have much more power over my life and the future than he has over his life at the moment. I'd say, we're in the same boat, he and I. Zephyr is the only one completely blissfully unaware of all the unrest. He just lives to love...and eat...and explore. That's about what makes his life complete :)

My house is now ready to sell and will be sold within the next two months. The finality of selling the house and the degree to which this is forcing me to let go of so many hopes and dreams and any ounce I had left of my former existence seems to be dredging up so much emotion for me. I am having to get rid of so many things that it is just not practical to move, things that I agonized over picking the perfect one of, then took such good care of, and held on to...the house that I poured my love into making everything just the way I always dreamed of...the life that I was is so hard for me to just erase it all from my life like none of it ever existed. When I try to "take" any of that memory or life with me, it just highlights the juxtaposition to my current situation and hurts too much. If this was always my reality, I'm sure I'd be fine with it, but when you are constantly comparing it to the dream you had and what you wanted from this life, it falls short to say the least. I look forward to some day in the future when I have created so much history between this day and then, that there are foundations on which I stand that have nothing to do with my life "before." A day when I have some sort of context that takes me so far from where I was at before or am at now that it isn't even relevant to dwell on. A day when good and bad once again become black & white, where superheroes and fairies really do exist, magic is possible, and I just live to love, eat, and explore.

Here are a few photos to "keep you" as Odin would say.

The boys from Magnum P.I.

Good guy

Bad Guy

The Superhero undercover...

The getaway vehicle...

Super Odin & his sidekick, Z Boy...

The little Hummel...

"So damn easy to say that life’s so hard
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars
As for me I’d like to thank my lucky stars that
I’m alive, and well

It’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessin' can’t you see
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I’m alive, and well
I’m alive, and well"

Saturday, September 5, 2009

My baby's not such a baby anymore!

In the last week, Zephyr has gone from being a baby to a one year old! Not only is he working on walking, he is also learning signs at a record pace! The other day, he was reaching for my coffee cup and making a sign so I turn the cup around and realize there's a fish on the side and he's signing fish! Now, he's got rudimentary versions of all of the following signs:
All done
Bye bye

He's also working on the words:

The other day, he went and got my shoes, put them on my feet, climbed into my lap, tugged on my to get up, and waved bye bye like, "Mom, let's go!" He also goes and gets his bottle and brings it to you as well as bags of pretzels and cheerios. He makes car sounds when he's riding his little "bicycle" and he dances when you put music on. He can show you his belly button and then gets ready to be tickled. He chats his own little language all the time. He's also getting pretty good at feeding himself with a spoon. He knows the uses of all "tools" like hairbrushes, spoons for stirring coffee, hammers, telephones, t.v. clickers, the computer, and horns. It's amazing that he's already so close to being a toddler! In just one week, I feel like he has changed so much!