Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I just got the most interesting comment on my blog saying that I helped someone! I helped! ME! The person that only gets help from others, lives purely by the grace of others' good deeds, and has no life or direction whatsoever HELPED SOMEONE ELSE! They were an anonymous commenter and if only they know how good it feels to have helped even just ONE person to give back a little! I can't help anyone in my own life because I can barely keep it together in my own life, have no money to help with, have no home to welcome them into, and no grounded feeling to offer as support. I'm so glad that I could virtually help someone. I'm glad to hear that someone is helped by me just saying, "Hey, my life is a mess. Things suck. Welcome to my world." Hahahaha. Anyways, here's what up with if things couldn't get any worse...I got really sick. This illness really messed with me but luckily I'm on antibiotics and things are going to get better again. I don't know WHAT I did to deserve this year but there ya have it. The hits just keep on comin'. Thanks to all for the support that you gave to me via facebook...I couldn't even reach out to people because I was just to sick I didn't have the energy to reach out. I'm feeling better and my parents took good care of me so don't worry about me! Just a nasty infection...I think I have THE worst immune system EVER, AND it doesn't help that I'm up every two hours with the baby and up for good at 5:30AM most nights with the occasional panic attack/stress out in the middle of the night where I can't sleep! Argh! So, now that I'm going to be feeling better, just wondering if I could get a sign. Any sign. Just something small from the universe telling me what the next step is for me. I thought that I would get a sign sometime during this summer helping me to figure out what to do next but the summer is halfway through and no sign has materialized. What am I going to do? I have to get a life of my own sometime! Where do I turn? Where do I look? What search do I google? (Believe me, I've tried many random google searches for an answer...if it was out there, I would have found it.) Does anyone have an answer for me? A magical offer of just the life I would like to live? Sometimes, the best thing to do is send your needs out into the universe. Here goes.
Here are my skills:
Graphic Design
Customer Service
Hospitality Revenue Management
Hospitality (all departments)
Singing, Dancing, Acting
Working with children
Extreme Patience
Non-profit misc. work
Interior decorating

Here's what I would like in my life:
A nice little home within walking distance to Something
People stopping over a lot
A community with great families and kids that is near enough my parents that I can get help when I get really sick which seems to happen to me WAY to often!
A good preschool
An ocean nearby enough
A mountain to climb nearby enough
Interesting things to drive to with the kids
A job from home
A nice babysitter for once in a while help
I guess I should also expand to friends who can play even on weekends or evenings when most families are having family time or a family that doesn't mind a third wheel with two kids.
Dates with nice friendly normal guys. Not the love of my life...just an occasion to get dressed up and feel pretty and have a nice date with fun adult conversation and laughter.

Ok. So, that's it. Is my Utopia out there? Does anyone have the key to the sign from the universe that is meant from me? If this post is missing words or doesn't make any sense...that just because I JUST started taking my antibiotics and they haven't really kicked in yet. Next post I'm sure I'll be back to my boring make-sense self.

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